This is me.

am i insane?

It's been one of those weeks where you think to yourself...."if i got any more pathetic, i would shoot myself." Now normally, i'm pretty good about keeping myself inline, but its gotten out of hand. Most times i can pinpoint exactly what's bothering me and fix it. Not this week. Of course not. It has to be the week before my birthday when i get all self involved. I have analyzed the shit out of every aspect of my life and even though things are going great, i wanna trash it all and start over. Is that so wrong? Am i worried that i am gonna screw things up? More than likely, that's the only reason i ever quit something is if i don't think i can do it. Which happens occasionally, yet not in every aspect of my life.
I came to the realization that right before my birthday shitty things seem to happen. There's not particular reason for this, it just comes about this time. I hurt something, or get cheated on, or get "dumped," or lose a friend or just get screwed over. My bad attitude stems from the expectancy of unhappy tidings. Don't get me wrong, i'm not usually a super negative person. I just am not big on having high expectations, cause most of the time i get let down. So by assuming the worst right off the bat means things can only get better.
I just need something that will rid me of my bad attitude. Can we just forget that i have a birthday? If going home for the weekend would be a good idea, i would do it. Solely for the sake of not ruining anyone else's weekend cause i can be a bitch if i really feel like it (i swear to god naves if you say i've never been a bitch i'm gonna do something...bad). So if anyone has any good ideas, PLEASE help me. I would love you forever and ever. Not like i don't already, but you'll directly hear it from my lips.
Hope your week was better than mine!!! Have a good weekend!!!

posted by Andie @ Friday, October 15, 2004 Comments: 0