The Whole Mess...Almost by Gregory Corso
I ran up six flights of stairs
to my small furnished room
opened the window
and began throwing out
those things most important in life
First to go, Truth, squealing like a fink:
"Don't! I'll tell awful things about you!"
"Oh yeah! Well, I've nothing to hide... OUT!"
Then went God, glowering & whimpering in amazement:
"It's not my fault! I'm not the cause of it all!"
"OUT!"
Then Love, cooing bribes:
"You'll never know impotency!
All the girls on Vogue covers, all yours!"
I pushed her fat ass out and screamed:
"You always end up a bummer!"
I picked up Faith Hope Charity
all three clinging together:
"Without us you'll surely die!"
"With you I'm going nuts! Goodbye!"
The Beauty... ah, Beauty---
As I led her to the window
I told her: "You I loved the best in life
...but you're a killer; Beauty kills!"
Not really meaning to drop her
I immediately ran downstairs
getting there just in time to catch her
"You saved me!" she cried
I put her down and told her: "Move on."
Went back up those six flights
went to the money
there was no money to throw out.
The only thing left in the room was Death
hiding beneath the kitchen sink:
"I'm not real!" It cried
"I'm just a rumor spread by life..."
Laughing I threw it out, kitchen sink and all
and suddenly realized Humor
was all that was left---
All I could do with Humor was to say:
"Out the window with the window!"
good times
Classic brother moments from this weekend. Please enjoy.
Easter morning 11ish, after a lot of confusion, he got a little annoyed.
him: "why can't we just have a normal easter? Hmmm? Instead we have Nicole stuck in Boulder sick, Andie's down here bored off her ass watching Roli Poli Oli, Mom and Dad are off with some random people eating OUR FAMILY BRUNCH, and i've been sitting around here hoping not to electrocute myself while fixing my amp. But the day is saved, my amp works. Happy?"
Watching TV (he always tries to boost my self confidence):
me: "damn, the chick on overhaulin is crazy hot."
him: "yeah, she's like you on a bad day. but you don't have bad days. so you're like way hotter."
On our trip to Jamba Juice:
him: "Andie, there's some tiny asian lady hiding behind cars and scaring the shit out of people"
me: "What?! where?"
him: "We better bust it out of the car, i don't want no crazy woman asking me for money."
me: "Haha. I think she wants money for a cancer foundation."
him: "I don't care what she wants but if she says 'sucky sucky five dolla" I'm bustin it to the car."
Laying on his bed, on the phone (in a provocative tone):
him: "you know i love ya baby. me and you tomorrow night, movie? it'll be me and you all night long."
me: "jase, i know that wasn't alyssa's ring. who are you talking to?"
him: "b-mack. oh, he says hi."
me: "hi back. weird. i was contemplating your sexual preference. now its confirmed."
him: "don't tell alyssa, it may upset her. or will it?"
Discussing him coming to visit:
me: "You wanna come visit me in Boulder on monday or tuesday?"
him: "I'm going bowling with some guy tomorrow, so probably tuesday."
me: "some guy?"
him: "yeah, he's coming from some frat at UMR because they really want me to go there."
me: "Interesting. I bet he's REAL cool."
him: "Yeah i'm expecting some 30 year old dude with a van. Plus i gave him our address."
me: "That sounds safe. What makes you so sure he's from UMR? He sounds kinda sketchy."
him: "Yeah i can see some creepy 30 year old pedophile driving up in a van saying, 'wanna go bowling little boy'. We may not want to make plans for tuesday, who knows when i'm coming back."
Nicknames (i got a serious ab workout on this one)
me: "Weird how Nicole has like 10 names to make fun of me but none for you?"
him: "She does so, she calls me.....snickerdoodle."
me: "What? No she doesn't, you're making that up loser."
him: "Yeah well, what about Douche McFarland."
me: "HAHA OMG."
mom: "I'm not sure i remember her calling you that. Is that a new one?"
him: "Yes mom, about as new as me liking boys"
Easter eggs (i blow the yolk out and use the shell):
while i'm de-yolking the eggs he grabbed my side and i sucked raw egg into my mouth.
"haha. while you were blowing the egg, it yolked in your mouth. dirty!"
we went a little crazy with the egg dye. he felt the need to write his nickname on his knuckles in blue dye.
"dude, how long do you think this'll last? its like a semi-permanent tattoo. mom should keep this stuff around more often."
me
I AM.....working on being happy again
I WILL ALWAYS.....be unreasonably self critical
I MISS.....how you made me uncomfortable
I HEAR.....vengeful words
I CRAVE.....trust
I WORRY.....that i am not good enough
I REGRET.....not saying everything i felt
I LOVE......life
I SING.....as if no ones listening
I LOST......all hope
I LIKE.....doing anything to make people happy
I DONT LIKE.....close minded people
I AM LISTENING TO.....dashboard confessional
I CAN BE.....indecisive and defensive
I LIVE.....for moments i never expect
I NEED......honesty
I KNOW THAT.....you will never need me as much as i need you
I HOPE......you miss me
I HATE......that i only do what other people say i should do, no matter how much it hurts
I WANT.....to be accomplished
I WISH.....i was assertive
I CRY.....when i don't understand
I FEEL.....used
I BELIEVE.....i am easily forgotten
I AM PROUD.....of my family
I THINK.....too much
i took it down
don't get mad, i took the post down. too many comments from people asking if i was ok. sorry. i'm just not good with talking about my problems. if you wanna read the post just ask me.
