falling apart at the seams
in one way or another, we're all self destructive. i care too much. i care so much, i can't let it show. otherwise i'm that girl i love to hate, all overly emotional. its exhausting and overwhelming keeping it all inside. i sacrifice my life in the name of caring. this is how i sleep at night and how i think i fall in love. and, most of all, how i get so anxious and depressed. i fall apart at the seams, into a million pieces. at your feet. onto the sidewalks. into the street and under cars.we are heavy hearted. and we are self destructive. all in our own ways. our families exhaust us. our families love us. even if they don't know how to show it. and i'm blessed because i have a family to be with. and i'm sad because there are so many other people i wish i could be with. and i'm lonely, because love doesn't come easy when you don't know how to let it or others in; for fear you might fall apart at the seams.
the snow keeps coming back. i stand on the porch watching it fall onto the streets. blanketing the world. the snow i'll have to trek my way through to get back to my life. trying to get to the people i love. i don't know the rules anymore. i don't know the right things to say or when to say them. the cynical idealist. the cold nostalgic. it's funny how our most endearing qualities are usually the one's we're most afraid to share. the ones we spend so much time trying to hide from.
posted by Andie @ Saturday, December 30, 2006
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