done.
this weather is exhausting. being tired is so exhausting. school seems to get more and more exhausting as the weeks progress from there to here and here to there. trying to figure out how i'm going to leave this place on my own is exhausting. but the backs and forths and in betweens of love and indifference towards myself, are the worst. because i once learned that the opposite of love is indifference, not hate. it's just that i'm indifferent to the decisions i've made. truth be told, i don't regret anything. even though, lately, i feel like someone's just stolen my life away. the music just keeps playing. and i just feel so sad. and i know i don't do sad well. i dress it up as anger. there's a sense of control and power with anger. when it comes to my life, i don't know that i've ever really been angry. just devastated. devastation and good acting. suppression begets agression. and then i'm just a yoyo of emotion. the backs and forths of loving and ignoring me. and i don't feel like trying anymore.
posted by Andie @ Sunday, April 09, 2006
Comments: 4
